Author's Note: This is a poem that I made after my grandparents took me to the inner city of Milwaukee to donate a sewing machine to a church, and it was a very humbling experience and these are my thoughts reflecting it.
On the other side of the chain link fence
Lies a different neighborhood
A different lifestyle
Of constant fear
Of constant woe
On the other side of the chain link fence
On the other side of the chain link fence
Is the neighborhood first settled by Benjamin's family
Is the land settled by those who lived under the chains
who evolved to work the line
On the other side of the chain link fence
On the other side of the chain link fence
Lives those who live to make it through the day
Lives those who are broken
Lives those who seek escape
On the other side of the chain link fence
On the other side of the chain link fence
They gaze from their homes
At the prosperity
They can't enjoy
On the other side of the chain link fence
On the other side of the chain link fence
Lives those without
Lives those without sanctuary
Lives those without freedom
Lives those without knowing life
On the other side of the chain link fence
Cool poem, I could tell it reflected your experience. The only thing is that in your poetry you always have repetition so you may want to change it up a little bit.
ReplyDeleteThis was really good. I expected it to be about something different, but once I finished reading it, I thought that it was really well written and it had a very good point to it. Nice job
ReplyDeleteThat is a nice poem. I liked how you repeated the "On the other side of the chain link fence On the other side of the chain link fence" throughout the poem.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the repitition, I thought it made it have a way bigger meaning, and was stronger. I really really liked it!
ReplyDeleteI liked the repitition. It was a refreshing thing to see this new style of poetry with a deep meaning as opposed to the weak ones that I always and ones I;ve written. It was an eye opening poem.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really cool poem! It's kind of sad and like sam said it's eye opening. The way you used repetition throughout the piece was really cool and you did a good job of describing it, because I could picture it in my head easily while I was reading it.
ReplyDeleteThis is a really cool poem! Its kind of sad and like Sam said it's an eye opening poem. I really like how you used repetition throughout the poem and you did a nice job of describing the scene, because I could easily picture this while I was reading it.
ReplyDeleteThat was a cool poem! It had a very deep meaning to it, and your voice was really good. The only thing I would suggest is when you say "On the other side of the chain link fence" twice, maybe put a space in between those to lines to spread it apart a little. But otherwise, awesome job Brad!
ReplyDeleteMy goodness that was good! I really enjoyed that. I liked how you repeated the "On the other side of the chain link fence" and I don't know why but I loved what inspired this too. That made me sad. Nice job :)
ReplyDeleteThat was a really good poem, Brad. I completely agree with Sam, how it has a very deep meaning, and how it reflects on your experience totally. I also like how much repetition you used with "On the other side of the chain link fence". Very nice!
ReplyDeleteI love this poem and how into detail you were. Great job and you are definitely good at writing poems.
ReplyDelete